Nicholas rarely goes to birthday parties. This may be because his peer group are now 9 and 10 years old and may not have so many parties or….let me take a wild guess here… it might just be because Nick is autistic and, you know, they’d love to invite him of course but perhaps just because of numbers they’ll have to re-think that particular invitation. 

However, this weekend Nick went to two birthday parties. One of them was the party of another child with high functioning autism; the other was his sister’s party.  Those of you who are looking for a little income might try selling packaged birthday parties in which you provide not only food and entertainment, but friends as well. I, for one, would be enlisting your services. 

The first party was in London so we got on the train quite early on a Saturday when some outrageous number (millions) of people were flooding in for the Tour de France, Wimbledon, and a free green concert.

The train was very packed.  Every seat was taken, every aisle space taken. People were piled ont the luggage compartment, leaning on walls outside the toilets. All very third world but at UK prices so you get to suffer in more than one way for your efforts.

Nick told the two women seated across from us an ENTIRE episode of Spongebob Squarepants, almost verbatim. So, I’m glad they got that information.

 
The party was held at one end of the Portabello Road. We walked along on a beautiful day, the market jammed with, food, clothing, spices, toys, electrical equipment. Nick said, "They don't have grocery stores in London?" 
 
The birthday boy has HFA (High Functioning Autism) and is a really social, outgoing kid for someone with HFA.  He's a great kid, about my height, but much taller when he bounces kangaroo style while holding my head.

His mother is living a parallel life to my own.  When we have a free moment (hahahahaha!), we ring each other and say, “Any new ideas?”  On therapies, special diets, doctors, schools, websites… Sometimes we just ring each other and say, "Oh my God" and the other says, "I know."
 
The other kids at the party were very nice.  However, Nick didn’t know most of them and refused to join in. He said, “I prefer to play with the children from my school.”  A perfectly reasonable response that made me a bit sad. There are 26 children in his class and he only got one invitation this year – and that one I personally begged the mother for.  Turns out that he was lovely at that party and he has seen that child several times since. The family are now my new favourite people in the neighbourhood.

However, this party in London didn’t go quite as well.  When asked to please try to join in with the other children, Nicholas informed me that he was exercising his right of freedom to do as he likes on his own time. He also told me he was exercising his right to freedom of expression. 
 
My friend with the birthday boy was most understanding. She said. "It's his American blood." 
 
"Nick," I said, "I get it that you are a freedom fighter. Just promise me you are not armed." 
 
After packing everything up, my friend drove through London managing to both avoid oncoming traffic and issue quite effective threats to her son. This was her non-autistic son, a perfectly normal boy.  Sometimes I forget that typical boys are still quite challenging customers.  The difference being that they grow up okay without too much work on our parts.

 
My friend is really quite remarkable.  If they could harness her energy and that of a few other autism mothers I know, I'm pretty sure the world could stop worrying about finding renewable energy sources.

But she'd worked so hard and done so much, and now was really at the end of her tether. I told her I'd forgotten my valium or I'd give her some right now. She could wash it down with Ribena, which is a kind of British version of Hi-C. 
 
"I'll have a martini," she told me. "Marti, why do you not just drink like a normal person?" 
 
It's obvious, I explained. The calories.