Marti Leimbach
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Daniel Isn't Talking
Dying Young
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Book Tour Cat Protest
 
There are certain ways you should begin a book tour and certain ways you should not. You should not, for example, have to wake up in the morning and walk the perimeter of your property looking for a suicidal cat, as I did yesterday at seven in the morning.

My cat, Clyde, is very old. We adopted him in 2001 and the kitty adoption agency listed him as "aged". It turns out that after the age of 10 a cat is just listed as "aged". Some say it is because it is so difficult to determine the age of a cat after that time, but I think it is because old cats just refuse to cooperate, to open their mouths to show their teeth, or whatever. I am sure that is the case with Clyde.

Clyde is so old that his pelt no longer smooths down but sticks up all around him as though he has just had a terrible shock. He does not scratch posts or trees to trim his claws so he is a Kung Fu kind of cat. He drools when he purrs and he can also bite while purring. He regards these practices as "skills". When people see him they look at him as one might a phone that requires both a dialing area and a cord. They say, "How OLD is that?"

How old? We dont' know. We'd have to carbon date him.

Nobody else would want a cat like Clyde, but we love him. He's a sweetie in his own cantakerous way. I keep trying to remind him that he is contractually obligated to be my pet, but he is not so convinced. And he seems to be in a wild protest at the idea of me going on any sort of book tour.

For example, when I was recently in Northern Ireland, he wandered away. It was two days before we finally found him at the Cat Protection League. Some kind soul had brought him there, thinking no cat who looked like that could possibly have a home.

When I was packing my suitcase, he lied in the middle and shed all his disheveled coat onto my belongings. Do cats have an eject button for their fur? It was like he defoliated or something.

And then I had to drag him back into the house just before leaving for the airport. He was lying in the bushes at the end of the driveway, just by the side of the road, actively looking for passing cars.

I told him, "You do realize that it is only a story, this 9-lives thing? You don't actually have 9 whole lives."

He looked at me with disdain. "Bring me Meaty Morsels in Gravy or get out of my road," he seemed to say.

So I am here in New York, wondering if Clyde is at home self-harming or something. He has three other people in the house looking after him, not that he cares one bit. I've had to email my husband to tell him to go patrol the bushes. Also to remove any sharp objects.....
 
Sunday, May 13, 2007 | 11:57:48
Comment by Lynn
 
I can't believe that it has been just over a year since I have last wrote to you on your Blog. So here I am again welcoming you back to the US. Welcome back! I also just realized that on Friday you will be in Wisconsin, not to far from our home, so....I hope to see you in Brookfield. Don't worry about Clyde, he will be fine. Be safe. John's mom in wisconsin.
 
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 | 05:18:36
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