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| Writing and Not Writing |
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| I know that writers are supposed to be obsessed with their craft and dedicated to writing everyday, studying the best fiction and poetry to find clues as to how they might improve their own work. I know this, but I don’t always do it. I know I ought to be helping my son every day, too, but this isn't always happening the way it ought to.
I used to feel really guilty that I took for granted my talent, that I shrank back from the provocative, demanding, intellectual rigour of such disciplines as literary criticism, that I entered into areas wholly outside of my particular set of gifts. I felt guilty, but that didn’t stop me from taking breaks from writing, or at times from the entire world of books.
However, I’ve discovered that sometimes a direct route is not the fastest way to get to where you want to go. Maybe you learn more about how to write books by recognizing how important it is not to write when you have nothing of any importance to say. So often writers are involved in a book that isn’t working for them. They feel like they ought to be writing because that is, after all, what they are – writers – and so they should be working on something at all times, shouldn’t they?
It reminds me of when a friend will be with some guy who isn’t working out. She'll know it isn’t working out. She knows she is not having fun, the relationship has no life, and the thing is like a stagnant pool of water which you know is going to dry up one day. So my friend will be toiling through some dark and dreadful relationship and I’ll think “dump him” . I’ll think, “He’s a fine and worthy man but not for you.” One day the thing ends and there is nothing but relief all round.
Sometimes, too, authors are involved in books that are just not the right book for them. They need to break up with this book. They need to say, “It’s been all right, but you’re not the one.” They need to pack the book’s bags and leave them by the door. We’ve all read books from writers we love and been disappointed. Is it because the writer has lost their talent? No, just a wrong book for them.
The more I think about what makes a book great the more I come to realize it is the marriage of the author's writing talent with the subject matter itself. You have to love what you are writing about, what you are thinking about. It will take a long time; it will sometimes be hard.
I think, too, that sometimes I ought to be reflecting on my son and letting him lead the way a little more, rather than always getting in there with interventions or ever more learning support. It is hard to resist, of course, especially as he goes to a mainstream school that puts so much pressure on him, and because I see other children developing at what seems to be rocket speed. However, I must be careful that what I am doing is actually helping him. I must be sure that every interraction I have with him is about love first, and learning very much second.
I would like to write another book involving autism. I know one day I will. Meanwhile, I continue to learn about my son and about people like him. I've been reading more about Daniel Tammet, the author of "Born On A Blue Day" and a delightful young guy who I was fortunate enough to meet in Edinburgh in August. He had epilepsy as a child and was also, I believe, diagnosed as having a milder case of autism. He developed savant skills and can do all sorts of things that baffle those of us with ordinary minds. You can learn more about him on www.optimnem.com
The reason Daniel Tammet is so interesting to me, however, is because of how he has developed as an adult from such an unusual, difficult, start as a child. He certainly is not a person you would call "disabled". He is more "able" than most of us. Nobody taught him directly how to overcome the limitations of autism. I don't think he has any special education at all. And yet, he has done something quite brilliant wtih his life.
I am supposed to be writing everyday. I am supposed to be teaching my son everyday. But sometimes I have to wonder about my desire for such a "direct line" approach. I may be missing a great deal in the linear pursuit of excellence. It is possible that the road to success both in terms of developing myself as a writer and helping my son develop into adulthood is a very circuitous one. |
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| Friday, February 09, 2007 | 11:26:12 |
